The Final Countdown

Well... I made it to the OB appointment I was hoping to not make it to. Dr. Grouse checked me out and I am still not dilated and nothing is changing. She wasn't comfortable scheduling me for an induction this weekend, since my cervix (sorry- had to use that word) isn't ready so we had to go into next week. They couldn't get me in before the holiday, so it looks like I will be having a baby on Thanksgiving Day. I can't believe it. People have joked with me that I might be eating Thanksgiving dinner in the hospital, but I always scoffed and said, No way! I was sure- SURE!- that I'd have my baby before that. I think I fated myself for this! As we left the Dr.'s office, she said, "Now that we have that scheduled, you'll probably go into labor on your own!"

Good Lord... I hope she is right. I really hope. A lot.

Monday I go in to the hospital for a Non-Stress test (NST). They will hook me up to a fetal heart rate monitor and give me an ultrasound to make sure the baby is still happy and healthy and that my amniotic fluid levels are still normal. Assuming everything is normal, we will proceed with life as normal... if anything is wrong, I'll be induced that day.

I imagine everything will be fine (no reason to think otherwise), so that brings us to Wednesday. I'm scheduled to go in at 2:00pm to have Prostaglandin gel put in place. I'll be vague about that one... but basically it gets things prepared. Then I go home and rest up in preparation for Thursday.

Thursday: Thanksgiving Day. I'm on the schedule to be at Hoag at 6:00am. Now, I have to call ahead and see if they have room for me... if they are very busy, I could be pushed back to later in the day. Great. So at some point on Thursday, I go to Hoag, get settled in and they pump me full of Pitocin (oxytocin) to start contractions and get labor going. Inductions usually take hours... so I am guessing Kat will be born that night.

I managed to hold it together in the doctor's office yesterday, but once we were out and the elevator hit the first floor, I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I'm so overwhelmed, tired, sore, and generally OVER being pregnant... I couldn't believe we would have to be waiting another full week. I can't sleep, my back hurts, I'm all swollen... and then... Thanksgiving Day?! Really?!! That means every plan that had been laid for the family as far as Thanksgiving goes was all messed up. I lost it... cried a lot (poor Matt)... then had a raging headache for the following 12 hours due to my stuffed up, tear and snot filled sinuses. Sweet.

Someone told me today, "Perhaps you just need to relax and not think about it. That is when it will happen." Ohhhhhhh- that is it! I will just stop thinking about it. That is super easy. Right.

So today after I get home, I am going to take a good, long walk and then maybe work on Kat's scrapbook. I've been begging God to let me go into labor this weekend, but I know his will is bigger (and better) than mine, so we will see. The thought of showing up at church on Sunday makes me even more emotional... I am haunted by the knowledge that I will be bombarded by everyone with such classic comments as:
"You're still here?!"
"When is that baby coming out, already?"
"What are you doing here?!"
And the ever popular, "Are you still pregnant?!" I don't know if I can handle it. I've been toying for hours over how I can successfully get in and out of church without being seen or noticed. I've never felt that way before. I can barely bring myself to answer my cell phone anymore, knowing it will be a baby status inquiry. Don't get me wrong- I love that people care and am blessed to have so many people thinking of us... it is just that I am asking "When will she be here?" every moment of everyday now and it is so emotionally draining to explain 6 times a day that no, she isn't here yet.

At least I know there is an end in sight... even though it is a full week away. She will be here soon and I will be tired in a whole new way. Right now I am just exhausted and discouraged, but all will be well soon.