Sometimes a girl needs her mommy.

I'm 27 years old, and tonight, I knew the only thing that was going to calm me down and make me stop crying was calling my mommy. Even as an adult, sometimes I just need mom. I'm pregnant, emotional, exhausted and my patience was wearing incredibly thin with Kate tonight. After hours of whining, demanding things be done her way, and crying all the way home from Grandma's because she didn't get to close the front door the way she wanted to close it, bedtime was a trial. I can tell lately that she is trying to keep me in the room with her longer and longer each night- always needing to revisit certain pages of Goodnight Moon, sing ABC one more time, etc. Once in her crib in a fairly decent mood, I tucked her in, did our normal routine and as I began to leave the room, she began frantically crying that she wanted her book in a certain spot. Thinking she'd move it and be ok, I closed the door... leaving her PISSED and SCREAMING like someone was stabbing a knife into her repeatedly or something. I mean s-c-r-e-a-m-i-n-g.

Now for the bad mom part. I did the first thing that came to mind. Stormed into her room and yelled at her to stop yelling! Nice, Alison. Way to keep it together. Grabbed her from her crib, tried to calm her down, put her book where she wanted it, put her back in bed and left the room again. She was fine. I; however, was not.

If you've ever experienced Mommy Guilt, you know what I am talking about. That feeling that what you've just done has officially scarred your child for the rest of their lives. Now, looking at it written down, it doesn't seem nearly as bad as I made it out to be. But between hormones and exhaustion, I spent the next 10 minutes crying uncontrollably about what a terrible mommy I am for reacting so angrily. Matt is at a meeting and wasn't here to talk down my crazies, so I did the only thing I could think of- called Mom. After patiently listening to my ranting about "how could I get angry at a 2-year-old for being a 2-year-old?" and "what if all she remembers tomorrow is me yelling at her?", my mom calmly asked me, "Do you remember every time I yelled at you?" Hmm... no. Guess not. "And of all the memories you have from being little, do the times I yelled at you haunt you?" No, not so much. And not 5 minutes into the conversation, I am calm, sniffling and feeling much better.

Man, I love my mom.

20 minutes later, I hear Kate crying in her room and decide I just have to go in, shush her, tell her I love her so much, and get her calm. All it took was pulling her blankie back over her, rubbing her back and "Goodnight, mommy loves you..." and she was happy again and we both felt better.